Monday, May 05, 2008

Mirthful Monday

Ode to Plurals ~~ Showcasing my Peonies
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis, and shim!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England .
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea , nor is it a pig.

~~

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,

grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends

and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

~~

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

~~

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,

while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

~~

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language

in which your house can burn up as it burns down,

in which you fill in a form by filling it out,

and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

~~

And in closing,if Father is Pop, how come Mother is not Mop?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author Unknown

5 comments:

Julie said...

Beautiful flowers and a good amusing post, Dee.
The rhyme is great and very true. You wonder how anyone ever learns English!

dot said...

Haha. My head is spinning after reading all that! Your peonies are beautiful but different from mine. I only have one.

DeeMom said...

Thanks Julie glad ya liked it... I hear English and Russian are the hardest languages to learn because of all of the nuisances

DOT until this year I was NEVER able to do the peonies…Guess the Tree Guy taking off JUST enuff of the shade element…Mom had the traditional peonies, so I am guessing I am doing something right…
Still all in all a pleasant sight to behold…maybe one day I will understand roses… A goal for sure

Old Wom Tigley said...

This had me laughing Dee.. I've not come across this before.
The flowers were a joy to see as well

Salty said...

Just what I needed in the middle of a bad work day,a good chuckle with beautiful flower pics to!
thanks for brighting my day!